We all have both the feminine energy and the masculine energy inside us, the yin and yang embrace each other and unite to create a whole being, Shiva and Shakti, higher consciousness and human reality, the mind and the heart. We are all made of duality.
But somehow, the feminine has been denied its well deserved freedom of expression. People don’t have any problem expressing their masculine side (women included), but the feminine has been neglected and, more than that, pushed back.
The feminist misconception
Unfortunately, many women who call themselves feminists misunderstand femininity and market the kind of woman who is strong and determined to the point where she starts to lose her feminine power. To many feminists, masculine traits are more useful and I understand why they think that. The women who fought and are still fighting in the women’s rights movement need to be demanding and need to be able to show determination. Such causes create the need for the masculine energy to come to the surface. But that doesn’t mean that it has to stay there and that it has to be advertised as the way to be…
Everywhere I look, women are living like machines, writing to do lists and trying to find ways that would make them more efficient, priding themselves for their overachieving personalities… Being unforgiving, a slayer and a bitch have been raised to the levels of high virtues.
Read “What is feminism?”
My first steps towards embracing femininity
It was a few years ago when, after an argument with a friend of mine, I realized that I needed to allow my feminine energy (my yin) more freedom of expression. I suddenly realized that moment why many of my relationships had failed, why some people (not only strangers but also friends) were watching me with suspicion and sometimes resentment. I realized that my energy had been so focused on the outside world that I had forgotten about myself (I had chosen to ignore my own problems).
My friend looked at me that day and said: “Stop trying to fix everyone else, fix yourself!” I took a good look at my situation and I saw that I was kind of tired of trying to control others, of trying to control my environment and I was tired of trying to control my experiences. I decided to let go.
This is what letting go and embracing my feminine side meant for me:
– I decided that I would allow myself to be more girly, flirty and playful.
– I decided that I would never again go and ask a man out. This was something I had done several times before and, let me tell you, it never ended well. If I am strong in my feminine energy I know that I have the power to attract the people I need to attract. I don’t need to put myself out there and try to force it.
– I decided that I would ask for help more often and also that I would accept help and care with an open heart whenever it would be offered to me.
– I decided that I would try to be more creative and act more from my intuition. There had been moments in the past when my intuition tried to warn me about different things and I did not listen. I was really sorry after…
– I decided that I would allow myself to feel more compassion and that I would try to be more caring with those around me.
Am I able to do all these things all the time? Honestly, no… But the awareness is there, and that is very important.
The feminine energy is the energy of love
I still catch myself feeling impatient and annoyed and trying to force things into happening. I still catch myself allowing logic to override my intuition and when that happens it always takes a while for me to go back into the heart. But that is ok. I know where I was and where I am now. I know that I allowed my feminine side to become stronger and I can see how much that helped me grow.
This is what feminine energy does: it fixes us from the inside out because it allows us to focus on ourselves. It gives us the opportunity to start loving ourselves and create a better relationship with ourselves and, consequently, with others.
“What does the eternal feminine add to everyone’s life? In one way or another, you express the eternal feminine wherever there is motherliness, inner beauty, devotion, nurturing, loving kindness, inspiration, and creativity.” – Deepak Chopra